A Beautiful Road Back to Myself

Not too long ago, I just accepted that I'd have to put on a show, to some degree, for everyone for the rest of my life. I accepted it like it was a fact.

The stories I used to tell myself: I'm not interesting enough, I'm not fun enough, I'm not pretty enough, I'm not talented enough, to be 100% real with people. I'll be rejected. People will laugh at me. I'll be embarrassed of who I am.

So I'll try to be whatever it is that I think people want me to be. I'll be funny. I'll work out and dress up. I'll do all these activities. People will think I'm successful. People will like me.

And not too long ago, I hit a wall— a huge wall— where I basically questioned my life entirely. What am I even doing? What are any of us even doing here? What's the point?

Do I really want to live the rest of my life feeling like I can't even be myself? Is that what life is?

I would look around me and not know if people were being real or fake, or if we all felt, on some level, that we couldn't be 100% real with each other.

And it's so easy to point the fingers. It's so easy to think the problem is the world. I used to think so. It's their fault. Society is just messed up...

Until one day, I was thinking about all my problems. I was thinking about why they were problems and the "should have, would have, could have's". In the middle of my self-loathing, it hit me. The common denominator in every problem was me. ME. (Duh)

All of these "problems" were problems because I called them problems. The "problem" of me feeling like I couldn't be myself was a problem that I created! ME! No one ever told me that I couldn't be myself. No one ever told me that I wasn't good enough. These were all stories that I wrote in my head based on my fear and past experience.

What I am describing in this story is a prime example of the power of our minds. Our minds can look at the same situation, and deem it as an amazing adventure or a terrible nightmare. Isn't that absolutely amazing? THIS IS THE BEST NEWS EVER!! Just wait.

When the realization hit me that my problems don't have to be problems, I felt a lot of compounded emotions. Do I just not feel like they're problems anymore? How do I do that? How did I let all this time go by and not realize this? This is all my fault!

I judged myself, I felt relief, I felt excitement, I even laughed a little bit. And guess what. All of that is OK. Our emotions are not evil, even the uncomfortable ones. They are our allies.

This is really the best news ever because it means that we have complete control over how hard our life is. It means that really hard things can happen to us, but we can view it all as an adventure and not a tragedy. I'm definitely not saying that terrible things don't happen to people. They do. More terrible things happen to some people than others. If we were to keep a list & tally the score, some people's lives would be really, really challenging compared to others. I don't debate that.

This is even more the best news ever because it applies to each and every one of us. No matter where you fall on this "list" of challenging lives, you have the power to change you approach to your problems. When you change that, you change your experience, and you change you life.

This is why I work with crystals. This is why I can say I work with crystals. It's no longer a problem to have to hide who I am, or what I like, or what I think. I've given myself full permission to do so, and crystals are tools for me to continue working through all the emotions and challenges of life. It's true nature therapy. Now, I teach others how to do the same.

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